Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sleeping = Fighting Bears

OK. "The Bear" has a mean teammate, "Grizzly,"
aka P-neumonia. The good news:

Dr. : I'm ordering a powerful antibiotic for you . . . and you don't also have mono.

Pharmacy: Insurance pays most of the $170 for the 10 pills.

School : Please don't return until your doctor faxes a release note.

Sweet dreams, everybody. xoxo

Monday, March 30, 2009

A Dozen Steven Wrights for TLC

~I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
~I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
~My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
~I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
~Smoking cures weight problems...eventually...
~I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
~I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
~I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.
~I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
~Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?" They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."
~Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?"
~I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said, "I thought I told you to go to sleep."

The Upsides

of viral meningitis . . . aka THE BEAR :O

sleeping, sleeping, sleeping
hearing songbirds, geese, ducks, turkeys, seagulls, muskrats, and squirrels . . . with nests near my window (tweedle, wockle, quackle, gobble, swoosh, swish, scribble)

friends and family with TLC and jokes (see some of Steven Wright's next)
no make-up needed with fever blush

hot Mike's Hard Lemonade with honey
thinking, praying, sleeping

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Impossible Takes Longer

The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer.
Fridtjof Nansen, Peace.

Pick a flower on Earth and you move the farthest star.
Paul Dirac, Physics.

In any case, let's eat breakfast.
Isaac Bashevis Singer, Literature--to his wife on hearing he had won the Nobel Prize.

From a joyful compilation of Nobel Prize Laureates' quotations by David Pratt

Monday, March 16, 2009

Teach Like Your Hair's On Fire

Oh, it's good. Makes you feel better about being at, PTL, a 24-hour Meijer after midnight, picking up guinea pig bedding or something for the next day's lessons and being called cuckoo. Rafe Esquith can often be found at the 24-hour Home Depot. Here, from his slim, entertaining, and worthy book:

We can do better . . . true excellence takes sacrifice, mistakes, and enormous amounts of effort. After all, there are no shortcuts.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Heads Up

From the edge of crumbling asphalt acres to pitted sidewalks caulked at empty windows, there was nothing but mountains of haggard snow out of whose summits rose lampposts that could still be seen beyond the interstate. Under ubiquitous clouds enveloping shammers, scammers, and radio yammers unraveled a long prayer walk. Upon the sigh of its last yearning prayer request there was something after all. Shining. The amen. It said, "In God We Trust."

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Farm Night with Baby

Tick tock
Dream shock
Awake blick
Asleep block
Midnight click
Moonlight clock
Blanket quick
Frantic frock
Cramp leg kick
Cold foot sock
Baby sick
Cradle rock
Flutter wick
Stumble talk
Nestless chick
Lonely walk
Starry crick
Foggy flock
Freckles’ lick
Backdoor lock
Climbing stick
Stairway stalk
Eyelid plick
Body balk
Pillow thick
Feather dock
Tick shhh
Tock shhh
Zick shhh
Zock zzzzz

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Penny Dreams

If dreaming of finding pennies counts, there were two. They appeared during the night before my trip to the Lemmon-Holton Cancer Center for a sudden lump last Thursday. Numerous digital xrays, diagnostics, and two ultrasounds later, there was no hint of surgery where incisions had been made before, only free valet parking and Douwe-Egberts coffee, views of large flat-screen tvs, lighted ceiling art, the city, and the beautiful, beautiful blue sky. Oh, and my plastic amusement park bracelet.